Revelations
by DawnTwilight
Summary: Jim makes a few discoveries...I know, that's a little vague.


Warnings: Death of a minor character, bad language

Feedback: Always welcome

Notes: I'd like to thank my cyber pal Peggy, the beta Goddess. I tinkered after she looked, so any mistakes are mine.

Originally posted to SA

*~*~*

Blair sat on the floor, his back pressed against the sofa, his journal balanced on his knee. The afternoon news played on the TV, the volume on the lowest setting, but he really wasn't paying any attention.

Jim was across from him, sitting in the yellow chair watching the broadcast and Blair would sneak a glance once and in a while, smiling at how the Sentinel could be so engrossed, even though no one else could hear what was being said.

Blair jotted down a few more notations in his worn book and then reached for his nearly empty bottle. "You want another beer, Jim?" he asked, looking up expectantly.

"I'll get it." Jim jumped up suddenly and headed for the kitchen, but the phone rang, so he detoured around the center island and picked up the phone off the hanging jack.

"Hello." He glanced toward Blair. "Oh, hey, Naomi."

Blair's head jerked up and he quickly closed his notes, putting down the heavy book along with his pen on the cluttered center table. He stood and walked toward Jim, watching as Jim's smile turned to a frown. "Okay, he's right here. Hold on."

Jim passed the phone over to Blair, but made no move to give Blair any privacy. "Hi, Mom." Blair's voice was as chipper as usual, his smile carrying over in his voice, but the smile faded as soon as he heard the quiet reply.

"Hi, sweetie." His mother could barely get the words out.

"Mom?" Blair couldn't help but be alarmed. "What's wrong?" He looked to Jim, wondering what his mother had told him, but Jim looked away when Blair's gaze reached his friend's eyes.

Blair shifted nervously from foot to foot, his stomach suddenly in a knot and his mouth was far too dry, but why? "Mom?"

"Blair. I need for you to come. Aunt Adele will pick you up. I want you to leave right away, if you can."

"Aunt Adele?" He hadn't seen his aunt in years. What the hell was going on? Jim came up behind him and put his arm over Blair's shoulder, leading him over to the dining room chair and he sank gratefully into it. "But, but why? What's going on?"

"I didn't want it to be like this, honey. I'm so sorry, but I need you now. Do you understand? Can you come? Aunt Adele is going to call the airport for me and arrange the tickets for you and, and Jim, if he can come too. I would like that. Tell him I would like him to come if he can."

Blair found that he couldn't talk, he just nodded his head for a second and than cleared his throat. He felt Jim's hand rubbing soothing circles on his shoulders and then he said, "O..okay. Umm...when?"

"Tonight, baby. Pack now and Aunt Adele will call you back as soon as she has the flight information. I love you sweetie."

"I love you, too, Mom." The phone just sorta dropped from his fingers, but he really couldn't feel it fall, his hands where numb. His whole body was numb. Jim must have hung it up because the next thing he knew, he was standing in front of the balcony doors.

"Chief?" Jim was standing behind him. "Are you all right?"

Am I all right? Oh, yeah, sure Jim. I'm fucking peachy. "Fine."

"Can I get you something?"

Give him an A for effort, man. "No, thank you."

Blair turned from the stormy midday sky then and walked toward his room. "Naomi said that my aunt was going to call back in a little bit with the information for the flight, so I better go pack."

He was almost all the way to his room when he turned back to Jim. The Sentinel was still standing in the middle of the living room, looking a little lost, worried for his friend and Blair was grateful. "She asked if you wanted to come, but don't feel obligated, man."

Jim was moving toward the stairs before Blair even finished talking.

"Jim?"

"I'll be packed in twenty," he said, smiling briefly, taking the steps two at a time.

When Jim was gone from sight, Blair slipped the rest of the way into his room, firmly closing the French doors. A thousand thoughts crossed his mind, but the most important one was how weak his mom had sounded and how strong he was going to have to be for her.

*~*~*

Jim, I'm dying.

Just like that.

She said it just like that.

No preamble.

Just up and told him.

You have to be strong for Blair, Jim. You're all he has, now.

"What a mess," Jim thought. Only Naomi would drop a bombshell like this. Hide her sickness from her only son and then wait until that last second under the pretense of not wanting to hurt him, of not wanting him to have to see her suffer. Well, you know what Naomi, you did fucking hurt him! And you robbed him of what little precious time he may have had with you!

He was angry as hell, but he couldn't show that now.

Now he had to be strong.

Blair was finally dozing off. Jim insisted that his Guide take the window seat and as soon as the captain turned off the seatbelt sign Jim stood and pulled a pillow and blanket from the overhead compartment, not really sure how to make Blair know that he was there for him if his friend needed him.

Blair gave Jim a funny little look, but he didn't complain. Blair settled back into the oversized seat, and turned toward the window. It was nice to be sitting in first class.

The Sentinel could hear the change in his friend's breathing, a slight hitch that meant that he was trying not to cry. Jim didn't want to make it worse, so he fanned through the in flight magazine, then pulled his tray table down and waited patiently for his dinner to arrive. When the flight attendant came to their row, he glanced at Blair.

Debating briefly he tapped Blair on the shoulder, because he knew Blair wasn't sleeping. "Hey, buddy. You need to try to eat a little."

Blair shifted around and the Sentinel could tell that his head was hurting by the way he was squinting his eyes. Jim waited until the attendant placed their food trays in front of them and then asked if he could get something for Blair's headache.

"Thanks, man." Blair looked at him out of the corner of his eye, lifting his tray cover and scanning the plate.

"No problem." Jim uncovered his own food and cut into his steak. It was surprisingly tender and hot. Blair was playing with his potatoes, moving them around with his fork when the attendant returned with a bottle of Tylenol gel caps.

Jim shook two out and handed them to his Guide. "Here. This should help your head."

Blair smiled a weak little smile, but swallowed them down without complaint. "I'm glad you came."

"Me too, Chief. Me too."

*~*~*

They weaved their way through the sea of people, reading the signs as they went, looking for the baggage claim. Blair walked ahead, scanning the crowds for a familiar face. Jim had been the one to talk to his aunt when she called, but he knew that she was picking them up and was meeting them by the baggage carousel.

"I'll grab the bags," Jim said from behind him. He nodded, moving toward the blue chairs sitting off to the right by the terminal. He hadn't seen his Aunt Adele since he was a teenager. She was his mom's older sister and knew that his mom kept in touch, but he didn't think that they were all that close.

"Blair, sweetie."

Blair turned around and found himself enveloped in a hug. He hugged back and it felt great. His aunt pulled back and looked him up and down. She had a huge smile on her face, although it didn't quite reach her soft blue eyes.

Blair almost had to do a double take himself. He had forgotten how much she looked like his mom, nearly the same features. She was just as tall and thin, only her hair was a bit darker and slightly streaked with gray.

"Look at you." Her voice was light and gentle; her hand traveled to his hair just as Jim came up, carrying the suitcases. "And look at all this hair. When did you decide to grow out your hair?" She hugged him again, patting him on the back and reached for Jim's hand. "You must be Jim. I'm Adele." She shook his hand, still holding on to Blair.

With a sigh she released him and patted his back again. "Okay fellas let's hit the road." She grabbed Blair's hand and pulled him toward the door, leaving Jim to carry the bags.

*~*~*

Well, she certainly had her sister's...enthusiasm.

Jim followed along behind them, watching as she slung her arm easily over Blair's shoulder, talking a hundred miles a minute.

Asking about his life in general, was he still traveling, was he happy. She had heard about the press conference. Naomi had told her and she wanted to make sure that he was okay. She knew that he was protecting his "special" friend and she was proud of him.

Jim followed at a respectful distance, letting them have a chance to catch up. A small smile turned the corners of his mouth as he wondered how many more Sandburgs he might encounter on this trip.

They all bundled into a Jeep and Jim dumped the luggage into the trunk before sliding across the leather back seat. Blair sat in the front, turned toward his aunt. They drove in silence for a good while before Blair finally asked, "Please, tell me what's going on?"

"Not too much to tell, Babe." She raised her slender hand and cupped Blair's chin. "It's moving fast and there isn't anything anyone can do."

Blair's eyes met Jim's in the rearview mirror briefly before turning to look out the window. The dark view was scattered with an occasional light. Jim looked out at the sky, the twinkling stars swirled and moved with each turn of the car.

He wasn't exactly sure where they were going. Blair's aunt told him that she would pick them up at the airport in L.A and that it was about an hour ride from there.

"How long?" The words were whispered, but Jim heard them easily. Adele did too, because she reached across the seat and patted Blair's thigh. Jim could see his reflection in the dark window as he stared out into the bleakness.

"Maybe a few more days. I'm sorry sweetie."

Blair just nodded and closed his eyes, resting his head on the seatback. Jim had the overwhelming urge to do something...anything.

He had to talk to Naomi and find out what the hell she was thinking...how could she do this to Blair?

*~*~*

The gravel crunched under the tires as they traveled the old road toward the large house. It was set off the main road, a few other houses were scattered in the distance, but not too closely. "Looks the same." Blair commented.

Jim shifted, trying to stifle a yawn while popping his back. He read the mail box as they passed it in the drive way and was a little bit surprised when he read the family name painted in bright green, block letters: "Sandburg".

"It's been a long time." Adele said. "You should have visited more often." It wasn't an accusation, Blair knew...but it had been a long time. Since a few years before he met Jim.

She pushed the button on the console of the Jeep and the garage door opened. The lights came on and once the Jeep was parked she popped the trunk. "How about I show Jim around and get you two settled. I want you to eat something and then you can see your mom."

Blair was already around the back of the Jeep, helping Jim pull out their bags, "But..."

"No, Blair. Your mom is sleeping now. Jenna's car is out front and she will stay with her until I get you settled. Besides...I need to fill you in on some things." Adele took the bag from his shaking hand and wrapped her free arm around his waist. "Come on, sweetie. Let's get you inside."

Blair walked into the kitchen and sank into the nearest chair. Jim mumbled something into his ear, reassurances, he was sure, but he really didn't hear it.

"I'll be right back, Blair." His aunt put an old iron teakettle on the burner to boil and rummaged though the cabinet looking for something. Jim stood behind Blair, his hand resting comfortably on his shoulder.

"The teabags are on the right, over the stove." Blair offered. "And the teapot's on the shelf by the cookbooks..." Blair turned around and pointed to the left, catching a confused look on the Sentinel's face.

Adele smiled and took out a few teabags and the porcelain teapot off the shelf. "I'm just going to show Jim to your old room and get the bags away. Stay put, okay?"

*~*~*

Jim followed the woman through the spacious country kitchen and into a large family room. He stopped suddenly when he saw the photos hanging over the fireplace. Before he even realized what he was doing, he was standing in front of them.

Adele was behind him, he could feel her breath on his neck, even though she was standing a few feet behind him. The center picture was clearly Naomi, only much younger. She was beautiful...dressed in a flowing white gown, lace and silk... her long red hair hanging loose around her shoulders and in her arms was a baby. Blair he realized. She was cradling him in her arms and looking down at him with such love and affection in her eyes.

Others, one of Blair by himself...a little older, surrounded the portrait. He was maybe six months; already a head full of thick curls and a few scattered teeth could be seen because he was trying to put his chubby foot in his mouth.

There was one of Adele with a man and a few boys and a young girl that resembled Blair sitting on the mantel. He turned to look at her, a question in his smile.

"That's my crew; the boys and Jenna. You'll get to meet her a little later, and that's my husband. He and Blair spent some summers together when Blair was younger he's a..."

"Trucker?" Jim finished with a smile.

"Yeah, he sure is." Adele answered. "He's on the road though. I don't know if he'll be able to get here..." She stopped suddenly and turned away.

Jim wasn't sure what to do. "I'm sorry," he offered lamely.

"No, no, I'm sorry. It's hard on us all, but I promised to be here for Blair and that's what I'm going to do." She straightened out to her full height and squared her shoulders. "You know what, I bet you would love to have a look at those photo albums over there?"

The slightly wicked glint in her eye was so much like Blair's that Jim found himself grinning like an idiot.

"I think that I would really like that."

*~*~*

The teakettle started to whistle, so Blair gathered up the teabags and started to steep them in the pot. He opened the cabinet to the left of the fridge and took out four mugs, just like he had done a hundred times before. He hadn't been here in at least seven years and yet it was all the same.

He could feel the tide of emotions and tried to hold them in. It wasn't like his mother had spent a lot of time here either. After Blair started college, she started to travel more and more and she would visit him...

"Hey, sweetie." He turned quickly, spilling the hot liquid over his hand. His aunt moved almost as fast as Jim. Before he knew what was happening his hand was under the faucet, cold water doing its job and taking the sting away.

"I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean to scare you." His aunt was muttering, filling a towel with ice from the freezer.

Jim was holding his hand up for inspection. Blair watched as his friend's eyes dilated, zeroing in on his reddening skin and the thought made him want to cry. God, his emotions were right on the surface. How was he going to be strong for his own mother if simple concern from his friend for a minor burn was pushing him over the edge?

He knew Jim was tuning into him just by the way he was holding his head. "Um...Adele? Can you just give us a second here?"

She handed the towel to Jim and patted Blair's hunched shoulders before excusing herself. "I'm going to go out to the freezer and get something out for a late dinner. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Blair looked up at Jim, but before he could say anything his friend wrapped him in his arms and held him tight in an awkward hug. "It's okay, Chief. It's a hard thing to go through, but you're doing great."

"Oh, yeah...riiiight." Blair was shaking his head, but Jim just repeated what he said.

"Look, Blair. Don't be so hard on yourself. Okay?" He gave Blair a pat on the back and then steered him to the chair. "It's just a minor burn."

Blair watched as Jim moved back over to the counter and poured three cups of tea, sitting one in front of him before sitting at the table.

Adele returned with a package of frozen meat and a piece of greenery in her hand. "I stopped by the green house on my way back. I thought Naomi said she had aloe." She squeezed out the thick liquid on the slightly redden area and then kissed the top of her nephew's head. "Oh, I found lamb chops. Jenna told me that Naomi sent her meat shopping."

"Want some help?" Blair offered. His aunt smiled and nodded. He was grateful; it would keep his mind off of things for now.

*~*~*

Jim watched as his friend moved around the kitchen with comfortable familiarity. He and his aunt defrosted the chops and Blair pulled down an old cookbook from a shelf. He smiled at Jim and asked for a few spices from a rack near the table. Jim jumped up and pitched in.

Jim's curiosity won out when Blair made a comment about Naomi never changing things. "So how long did you live here, Chief?"

Blair laughed briefly. They never really had talked about his life much, just bits and pieces if they seemed to fit the situation. "Well, as long as I can remember until I went to college."

Then Blair laughed again at the look on his friend's face.

Adele made a slight clucking noise, but continued to chop the vegetables for Naomi's salad.

"What did you think, Jim? That Naomi and I wandered around the country? That I grew up in communes or something?" Jim could see the sparkle in his Guide's eyes, but he wasn't going to take the bait. If he did he was sure he would end up with an hour lecture on how it was a totally illogical line of thought.

"No, of course not." Jim just shrugged and moved to help Adele cut up the carrots she was working on.

"Right, man."

When dinner was in the oven, Adele sat down at the table and patted the seat next to her. "How about you rest with me for awhile? I'm sure you must be tired and Jenna should be out in a few minutes with an update."

Blair sat down and Jim sat across from them, kind of feeling like an outsider. Blair smiled at him and Adele reached across and patted his hand. "I'm glad you came, Jim. Naomi told me about you and I'm glad Blair has such a special friend."

Any comment that Jim would have made was cut short. The woman from the picture came into the kitchen. She was older then the portrait, her hair was longer and she had Blair's auburn color, but it was straight and pulled into an elaborate braid. Her skin was smooth and tan and her eyes were as blue as Blair's. She was beautiful.

She hugged her mom and then stooped behind Blair's chair, wrapping her arms around his chest and resting her head on his. "Hi, Blair Bear. I missed ya."

Blair turned in his chair and hugged his cousin for a moment. "I missed you too, Jenny. How's Mom?"

Jenna sat in the chair next to him, resting her hands in his, never breaking eye contact. "She just woke up. I told her you are here and she wants to see you, but first I want to prepare you. She's very weak, so don't expect too much."

Blair nodded. "What kind?"

"Pancreatic. I did everything I could, Blair. I talked her into seeing a colleague of mine. A specialist, but that type is almost always...well...she tried." Jenna looked toward Jim as if this was the first time she had noticed him sitting there. "Are you Jim?"

"Yes." Jim looked between her and Blair, but Blair didn't even seem to notice that Jenna was even talking to him. "I need to talk to you once Blair has a chance to talk to his mom."

"Oh, okay."

"Blair, how about I take you in to see her and I'll set you up to sleep in there. I'll make sure we bring you both dinner when it's done." Jenna was pulling Blair to his feet and Jim stood to follow. They walked down the same hall Jim was in earlier when he dropped their bags in Blair's old room.

"Jim." Jenna's soft words pulled him from his thoughts. "Why don't you get Blair something to sleep in and meet me back here?"

Jim nodded and walked to the room at the end of the hall. He watched as his friend slipped into the doorway, heard a tiny gasp and whispered "Mom", smelt the salty tang of tears.

How was he going to help Blair get through this? He didn't know, just knew that he had to.

*~*~*

Blair lay very still, afraid he would hurt the tiny form next to him on the bed. He could hardly believe this person was his mother. She was so much older looking. Her head was covered with a colorful scarf and she was wearing a heavy flannel nightgown. Blankets were piled on top of her, yet she was shivering.

He reached up and carefully touched her lips, running his fingers over her nose and then around her eyes and over her forehead. Her skin was cold, almost waxy. Her eyes were closed when he came in and he lay on the bed and carefully laid his hand on her chest to make sure she was breathing, trying to reassure himself that he wasn't too late.

He didn't want to wake her, so he stayed still and waited. Wondering why she didn't tell him sooner, why she waited until it was almost to late. Maybe they would have had time for one more trip? Maybe they could have spent some time...maybe he was just being selfish?

"Chief?"

Blair looked over his shoulder to see Jim standing awkwardly in the doorway, shifting from foot to foot. "Hey, come in."

Jim moved closer, glancing at Naomi and than back to Blair. "I brought you your sweats to sleep in. That way you can sleep in here. Is she awake?"

Blair sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "No, she was sleeping when I came in and I didn't want to wake her...she looks so frail. Thanks for coming with me," he suddenly said.

Jim sat carefully next to him, looking Naomi over and Blair could tell that he was cataloging her vital signs. He slung his arm round Blair. "You keep saying that, buddy. But this is right where I would want to be." He patted his back before getting up just as carefully. "I'm going to bring dinner in when it's done."

With a smirk he added, "Your aunt said something about showing me some family photo albums later on...you know for entertainment.

"Oh goody." Blair made a face as Jim slipped out the door. "Yuk it up. I know where your dad lives.

*~*~*

Jim and Jenna delivered dinner to Blair and Naomi. She was awake when they set their meals on a bed tray. Naomi insisted that Jim sit with them and eat, so Jenna brought his plate in too.

"Jim. I'm so glad you came with Blair." She smiled at her son, weakly squeezing the hand that rested in hers.

Blair smiled too and Jim was glad to see that he seemed to be holding up pretty well now that his mom was awake.

"I'm happy to be here," Jim said. He reached over and helped Blair cut and arrange the food on Naomi's plate, needing to have his hands moving. She smiled at both of them and patted Jim's hand.

None of them ate much, which Naomi picked up on. "You two better eat more. I'm the sick one."

"We ate a little on the plane, Mom," Blair offered. Even though he really only picked at that too.

"How was the flight?" she asked, cutting her steamed asparagus again, chewing it carefully.

"It was nice to sit in first class," Jim told her. "You'll have to tell me how much I owe you."

Blair made the effort to pick at his food and Jim sipped at his coffee.

"Don't be ridiculous. I was happy to do it. Did you make this, sweetie?" Naomi suddenly asked.

"Umm..I helped Aunt Adele." Blair glanced at Jim. "Jim helped too."

Again Naomi reached for Jim's hand and Jim took it gently in his. "I love this, thank you both. Is this the recipe from that cookbook we got in Nepal? Remember Blair?"

"Yeah, Mom. I remember." Her hand went slack in Jim's and he laid it gently back on the bedcovers.

"I'll take the dishes into the kitchen. Do you need anything, Chief?" Jim was already putting the plates on the tray.

"No. I think I'm going to take a shower and sit with her a little longer. I might be out later before bed though."

Blair watched his friend go.

*~*~*

Jim found the women in the kitchen. They were cleaning up the counter and Jenna was just finishing up the pots when Jim brought the tray over.

"Thank you," she said, taking the dishes from him. "I see no one ate much."

"I don't think anyone was very hungry, sorry." Jim picked up a dishtowel and started to dry, getting an odd look from Adele, but she took the dry dishes and put them away.

"Is Blair going to be coming out at all?" Jenna asked, placing the last glass in the drainer.

Jim made quick work of the glass, handing it off to Blair's aunt. "He said he was going to take a shower while his mom was sleeping and that he might slip out later, especially since I mentioned the photo albums."

Jenna laughed. "I have a few in mind..."

"Before you go embarrassing your cousin, try to remember who is in most of those pictures with him." Adele laughed at her daughter as the smirk disappeared. "I think I'm going to set the coffeepot for breakfast and get ready for bed. Jim, make yourself at home. There is plenty to eat if you get hungry later on. Ah...the bathroom's stocked, if you need anything, I'm in the guestroom across from yours."

"Goodnight, Mama." Jenna kissed her mom on the cheek. "I'm going to stay until after I give Aunt Naomi her last meds and I'll be back tomorrow to check in."

"Good night, baby. Don't keep Jim up all night. He and your cousin have had a full day. Good night, Jim." Adele left them in the family room and Jim took the time to have a good look around.

The room was warm and cozy. The furniture was large, comfortable...lived in. It was a little bit surprising, but why?

Jim had to admit that it was a little strange. What had he been thinking in all the years that he had known Blair? He knew all about Blair's life once he entered college; about his travels, his studies, his mentors, his interests, his articles...but he only really knew what little that Blair let slip. Only what Blair would reveal if it seemed to fit what might be going on in their life at the time, if it would in some way help Jim or someone else.

Did Jim think that he grew up in a commune?

"Jim?" Jenna was waving her hand in front of his face.

"Oh. Sorry. Just thinking." He sat on the couch next to Jenna. "So are you a doctor?"

"Yes. I have a private practice in L.A. Naomi said that you're a police officer in Cascade? That sounds interesting?" She shifted to get comfortable, tucking her leg up under her.

"It can be," he smiled. "Especially with your cousin riding along."

"Hey..." A drowsy voice called from the hallway. "I resemble that remark."

Jim turned to see his Guide moving slowly toward them. "Hey Blair Bear, you look beat. How about taking a load off and I'm going to check on Aunt Naomi." Jenna jumped up and Blair sank down next to Jim.

His hair was still damp from his shower and his favorite gray robe was wrapped snuggly around him. "I see the photo albums are still safely on the shelf, man."

"I think you're safe until morning; my eyes are too blurry to focus," Jim said, dropping his head back to rest on the sofa.

Jenna came back then, pulling on her light jacket. "Okay, guys. I'm off. I'll be by tomorrow evening." She hugged Blair when he stood and walked her to the door.

Blair locked up and came back to the sofa. "I'm beat. Jenna said Mom should sleep through the night, so I'm going to try to get some rest."

Jim stood too. "Okay. Chief. I think I'm going to turn in too."

Jim followed Blair into the kitchen and they checked the back door again. Blair turned on the light over the stove and told Jim to help himself to anything in the kitchen if he got hungry later.

They walked down the hall together and said goodnight. Blair went back into his mom's room, cracking a joke about it being like old times when he used to sneak from his room into his mother's bed when he was little. "I used the think the boogie man might get me."

Jim took a quick shower, finding clean towels in a small linen closet by the shower. A wooden framed painting of a wolf above the toilet caught his eye. Jim looked closer at the soft blacks, grays and blues. The wolf was standing on a rock, howling at the moon... He had to do a double take. The artist signature in black was Blair Sandburg and the date would put him around the age of fifteen.

Jim didn't know Blair could paint! And paint that well!

He finished drying off and dressed in boxers and a t-shirt, walked across the hall to Blair's old room and quietly closed the door behind him. He didn't bother turning on the lights, tossing his dirty clothes in a chair by the bed and pulled back the covers.

After shifting a few times he finally found a comfortable spot, scanning the house with his senses, finding the noises to be comforting, he drifted off to sleep.

*~*~*

Blair talked in hushed tones to his mom. She was shaking all the time and he couldn't seem to keep her warm.

"Sweetie?" She turned to see him.

"I'm right here, Mom. What do you need?" Blair sat up a little, leaning over her so she could see him.

"What time is it?" Naomi shifted to her side, moaning a little.

"Let me help you." Blair's voice was thick with panic, but he gently rolled his mother over on her side, stuffing a few pillows behind her. "That better? Umm...It's still early, it's 6:00AM."

"That's better, Blair. Can you get my trunk out of the attic...or garage? I need to show you some things." She swallowed a few times and Blair could tell she was having a hard time breathing.

He looked around for the glass of water he was sure he left there the night before. "Let me get you a drink." He moved to get up, but she grabbed at his sleeve.

"Please, Blair. Get the trunk first." Her eyes were open, pleading. His heart skipped a few beats, but he numbly nodded his head, scooting off the bed to go get the trunk.

In the hall he nearly ran Jim over. "Easy buddy."

"Sorry, Jim. Did I wake you up?" Blair walked briskly into the kitchen and filled a mug with coffee and a glass with water.

"No, I was up anyway and I heard you talking. I can get this trunk," he offered, filling his own mug.

Blair nodded. "I think it's in the garage. It used to be over the freezer. Up on a shelf in the back."

"Morning boys." Adele greeted. She poured a mug of her favorite brew, blowing on the hot liquid. "Did I miss something?"

"Mom wants her trunk." Blair blurted, glancing at Jim's confused face.

Blair was never allowed to look in that trunk. He knew it had personal things in it, things from Naomi's past. She would always tell him that when he was old enough, she would pull it down and they would have a look and then he got the scholarship to Rainier. At sixteen he was going to college and to be honest he never really thought of it again, but now...for her to want to show it to him now...

"Blair, why don't you take your mom a drink and Jim and I will wrestle the trunk down." Adele patted him on the back. "We can have breakfast and then we'll see why she wants it. Maybe there's something special in there she wants you to have."

Blair nodded, feeling a little foolish. His mother was dying and he was being a big baby. She just wanted to share some memories with him. He could handle that.

"You're right." He relaxed a fraction and grabbed the apple juice from the fridge. "I'll tell her we'll look at it if she eats some breakfast." He got that glint in his eye and carried a glass of ice and juice back to his mother's room.

"Why don't you get dressed, Jim and I'll make breakfast. We'll get it down later."

Jim nodded and headed back to his temporary room. In the light of day he had a better chance to look around. As he dressed he took in the room. He could see a younger version of his best friend being comfortable living here. The bed was a full size, covered in a dark comforter and a ton of colorful throw pillows, just like his room at the loft...only this bed was probably much more comfortable.

The furniture was a heavy oak, a tall dresser held trophies and awards, certificates for outstanding achievements and merits. A desk in front of a bay window held book after book about different cultures. The pictures on the walls showed ancient peoples, warrior races.

"Jim?"

Blair was right behind him. He turned slowly around.

"Something wrong?"

"No. Just thinking." Jim patted Blair's back and they moved out of the room.

"Breakfast is ready. Naomi's sleeping again, but Aunt Adele thinks it's a good idea to get the trunk down anyway. Maybe Mom might feel up to coming out to the living room later today." They sat around the kitchen table.

"Sounds good." Jim kept looking at Blair.

"What?" Blair sounded tired, but he still smiled.

"Nothing, just making some observations about my favorite observer." They finished breakfast quickly and Blair took a bowl of cream of wheat in to his mom.

Jim helped with the clean up and then they went to pull down the old trunk. Old being the right word. Adele explained that it had belonged to their parents.

They sat in the living room and Jim studied the old thing. It was huge and heavy. He half listened to Adele and half to Blair. He was murmuring to Naomi, telling her how much he loved her.

"So anyway, they died before Blair was born." Jim knew he missed something big.

"His grandparents?" he ventured.

"Yes, well, they had us both fairly late in life and all." He didn't want to ask her again for the story, so he made a mental note to ask Blair how his grandparents died.

Adele got up and pulled a large album off the shelf by the fireplace and handed it to Jim. "This should be amusing," she laughed.

Jim opened the first page and saw a very young Naomi in a hospital bed, holding a baby. In the next few pages Blair grew into a toddler, playing in the mud, eating what looked like a worm...running around some beach on an island with other dark skinned children completely in the buff.

Adele made a few comments when needed, explaining the different locations. Saying that they traveled all during the summer. The next few albums showed an older Blair, dressed in a school uniform. His hair was short and unruly. Adele pointed out the school name, but Jim couldn't place it. There was one picture that was definite blackmail material, Blair was in a school musical...Grease...Adele said they had it on video.

Toward the back there were pictures of his high school graduation. Jim couldn't get over the chin length hair or how young he was. But he was young...just barely sixteen. The blue cap and gown just looked so right on him and Naomi looked so proud as she stood by her son, who was displaying his diploma proudly.

The other books had pictures of him and his family up to the a few months before Jim had met him; some of him and Naomi on vacation or pictures that he had sent her from locations where he was studying.

There were even some of he and Jim...from just a few months ago when Naomi came to visit them and they were sitting on the couch, laughing about something.

Adele ran her finger over the corner of the picture she was holding. It was an old black and white photo. "Blair looks so much like his father."

Jim's head shot up. "You know who his father is? Naomi does?"

She smiled sadly. "He was a wonderful man. I'm sure that's what the whole trunk thing is about." She put the picture back into the album.

"Did you know that Naomi went to Rainier?" She asked.

*~*~*

Naomi stirred and murmured in her sleep. Blair brushed what was left of her hair off her sweaty forehead. "Mom? Are you awake?"

"No," she whispered, smiling a tiny smile. "But I might be persuaded to wake up."

Blair scooted up on the bed and arranged the blankets around her shoulders a little. "And how might I be able to persuade you to wake up?" he asked, fluffing the pillows.

"I think I would like to meditate. Can you help me sit up?"

Blair looked doubtful. But he nodded and was pleased to see the genuine smile on his mother's face. He realized that she must be a little stiff. "How about a nice hot bath, too?"

"Oh, that sounds like heaven, sweetie. And then we need to have a talk. But first I want to get myself in harmony." He helped her rest her back against the headboard, stuffing pillows wherever he could for comfort.

She sat stiffly, but tried to relax, beginning by breathing in deeply. "Why don't you take a nice hot bath first? I have some green tea bath powder from my trip to Japan."

He nodded, backing off the bed, trying not to jostle her. He heard Jim and his aunt talking, but was too concerned about leaving his mom sitting up to pay attention to them. He hurried to his dresser and pulled out some clean clothes. When he got back into his mother's room, she seemed deep into her meditation. He placed a few more pillows around her and then slipped into the master bath.

He had forgotten how nice her private bathroom was. The tub was a lot larger and had whirlpool jets. He ran the water and poured in the green tea powder, turning on the jets. He washed pretty quickly and than sank back, trying to relax a little.

It was so hard trying to hold it together, but he had to. He didn't know how much longer he had. And he knew that once it was over he could fall apart then and that Jim would be there to help him, to support him, to pick up the pieces.

The fact that he was sitting in his mother's tub while she was meditating on her bed suddenly seemed funny to him. He let a little laugh slip out. Only it really wasn't funny. His mother was sitting on her bed, in her home and his home too, he supposed and she was dying. He was sitting in her tub and she was meditating on her bed and she was dying...she was dying....

He reached for a towel and rolled it up. The last thing he wanted was for Jim to come barreling in his mother's bathroom while she was sitting on her bed meditating, because she was dying after all...to find him bare butt naked in a huge whirlpool, green tea, jet tub, crying like a fucking two year old...because his, because his mommy was dying.

He sat up and clutched the towel...pressing his face into it's softness...okay, so maybe he did want his best friend to find him in here after all...

*~*~*

"What?"

"Yes. We both attended Rainier." A fond, faraway look crossed Adele's face. "I actually followed Naomi. She always knew what she wanted. I envied her, I guess for that."

She stood and Jim followed her to the kitchen. He glanced at the clock and noticed it was almost lunch time, he didn't realize he had spent so much time looking at pictures. She began pulling out meats and cheeses, fresh vegetables for a salad.

"As I told you, my parents were well off and we pretty much got whatever we asked for. Naomi was such a bright child. She excelled at whatever she did. My parents put her in the best of schools..."

"What about you?" Jim asked, cleaning the head of lettuce in a colander over the sink.

"Oh, they pampered me too. Only my first love was music and the arts. I play the cello, among other things and I love to paint. I seemed to have passed at least some of that love on to my children and Blair too." She sat at the counter and began to cut up the cucumbers. "So at about the same age as Blair, she was accepted on scholarship at Rainier. She applied to the department of Archeology."

"Archeology?" Jim nearly choked on the carrot he was nibbling on. "Does Blair know all this?"

"Of course." She smiled. "Who do you think encouraged him into the field he is in today? In fact Blair considered Archeology at first, but decided that Anthropology better suited him. The two fields are closely related, you know? And Blair is such a people person. He loves to figure out what makes them tick."

Jim settled in on the stool next to her and worked on the carrots.

"So anyway, I went too. I didn't want to be left here, alone with my parents." She smiled at him and than went back to cutting. "She impressed them all. Aced her courses. Went on expeditions. She met him about a year after I started. He was older. A professor."

Jim didn't react. He just continued to cut up the salad. He had wondered for so long about Blair's father.

Blair never really talked about it. Had really only mentioned it once or twice. Made that crack about Timothy Leary and said that he didn't know who his father was. Guess that didn't mean that Naomi didn't know.

"They were so in love. It didn't matter that he was older. Our parents even approved." She tossed the salad and put it in the fridge.

"Then what happened?" Jim wondered.

"He was offered a job at a university near here, so they moved to this house." She looked around the kitchen, tears shimmering in her eyes. "And Naomi graduated with honors. Got her Masters Degree and her P.H.D. And they lived and they loved and then Blair came along."

Sub rolls were pulled from the breadbox and Adele sighed. "My parents died the year before Blair was born. Six months apart. It was very hard on all of us. Even though Naomi and Robert weren't married, he took care of all of the arrangements."

"What happened to Robert?" Jim asked, stilling her hands, as she layered the meats onto the bread.

"Blair was only a toddler, still a baby." She was crying now, so Jim pulled her to him.

"It's okay. What happened, Adele?" Jim rubbed her back, trying to soothe her.

"When it happened, Naomi went crazy." Adele pushed away, wiping her eyes on the back of her hands. "I think it's time Blair should know the truth. She should have told him a long time ago instead of denying his father's existence."

"What happened?" Jim could feel the desperation in his own voice.

*~*~*

Blair shivered as he dried himself, the water had cooled off, and so he must have been in the tub for a lot longer then he wanted. When he came out of the bathroom, his mom was still sitting on the bed, a peaceful, relaxed look on her pale face.

He knee walked across the bed to her and sat close, but didn't touch. She looked so focused and in touch. He loved that about her; her ability to be at peace with herself when her life was in turmoil.

She drew in a deep breath and turned her head, sensing his presence. "Hello, sweetie."

"Hi, Mom." He took her by the arm and tried to help her lay down, but she was resistant, insisting that he just rearrange the pillows behind her so she could recline some.

"I want to tell you about your father," she said and Blair drew in a deep breath.

"Why after all this time?" he asked. "Why now?"

A sad smile creased her drawn face. "I know that I always refused to talk about him...and you used to push it when you were a teenager and then you just stopped asking...why?"

"I...I could see how it hurt you, Mom. And I guess when I got older and realized that...well, I just didn't want to hurt you." Blair took the hand she offered and returned the slight squeeze.

"Can you ask Jim to bring in the trunk?" Blair was scared now. Her breaths were coming in short gasps. He didn't want her to get upset by whatever was in that chest.

"Mom, you don't..."

"Yes...yes, I...do"

"Jim." Blair called from his mom's room. "Can you bring the trunk in, please?" He didn't say the words very loud, but he knew he didn't have to.

A few short moments later his friend appeared with the trunk in tow. Blair looked up, conveying his thanks with his eyes. Jim started to back out of the room and was just crossing the threshold when Naomi's weak voice stopped him.

"Jim? Stay."

So he did. He sat on the bed on the other side from Blair, smiling at his best friend's mother.

"Thank you," she whispered.

He nodded, glancing at Blair from the corner of his eye.

"I was just about to tell Blair about his father and I thought you should be here too. I think he would like that. You two have been through so much together and I know that Blair could use your support through all this." The long speech seemed to have winded her.

Blair jumped up and grabbed the glass of juice from the nightstand and placed the straw against her lips. She took a few tiny sips and smiled at her son.

"Thank you, sweetie."

"Open the trunk, Jim. The key is in my jewelry box, top right drawer, under the ring box." Jim stood and searched the jewelry box as she directed. He found an old key right where she said it would be.

He opened the old trunk and waited for her to tell him what to do next.

She shifted a little to the right and looked over the bed. Jim noted her degrees sitting on top, along with a few pictures of her as a young woman, dressed in cut off shorts and boots, sitting at a table studying a grouping of what looked like human bones.

He looked up at her and she smiled. "Another lifetime ago."

He nodded his understanding as she pointed to a box on the left of the trunk. He pulled it out and handed it to her and then took his seat back on the bed.

She opened the box and took out a set of old black and white photos. She handed them carefully to Blair.

"These are the photos from your expeditions to India." Blair stated, shuffling through the stack, stopping when he got to the one with a man holding his mother in his arms.

He looked at the smiling faces in the picture and then up at the sad smile on his mom's face.

"His name was Robert Fleming...."

*~*~*

Jim took the photos Blair handed him. The man in the picture was so much like Blair, same strong jaw, head full of unruly hair pulled back at the base of his neck.

"We met my junior year," Naomi was saying, and Jim pulled away from the happy faces in the picture to the faraway look in her eyes. "He was one of my professors." She smiled. "And he was older, but not by much. He was brilliant, just like you, sweetie."

Jim looked over at Blair. His bottom lip was drawn in and his eyes were too bright. He listened to his Guide's pounding heart, knowing that this had to be killing him.

"No one at the University knew we were in love. We had to be very careful. The year I graduated he was offered a job at U.C.L.A." Her eyes seemed to be turn inward at the memory. "I was so scared. I was only nineteen and I thought that he would leave me, but he just announced that I better pack."

Jim smiled at her when she looked his way, trying to gauge Blair's reaction to the story of his father. He shifted on the bed so he could see him better.

"So I moved to this house with him. Mama and Papa helped us get settled. Gave us the money we needed. And your father encouraged me to finish my education." She looked down to her lap then over to Jim.

"Can you please hand me the box on the other side Jim?" He leaned over and pulled over a larger box without getting up off the bed. She patted his hand when he gave it too her, then held on to it. "Before I go on, I just want to say thank you for being such a wonderful friend to my son, Jim."

Not being sure what to say, he stroked the tiny hand holding his. "Thank you. Blair's been a great friend to me too."

She let go of his hand and opened the box, pulling out a smaller one wrapped in a blue ribbon. Inside were more pictures. Blair gasped at the photos of his father holding him as a baby. There were a few of his mom in the hospital cradling him in her arms and his father perched on the edge of the bed, a huge smile splitting his face.

"Mom?" Blair fanned through picture after picture, he and the man playing peek-a-boo, him as a baby being tossed in the air or sleeping against his father's bare chest. Then when he was older, Blair was walking out of Naomi's hands and towards his father's open and waiting arms.

"I don't understand? Why?" The tears were streaming now, and Blair wiped at them angrily.

"I'm so sorry, Blair. I should have told you from the beginning, but I was so mad at him...so angry for him leaving me, for leaving us." Tears streaked her face now too and Jim was finding it hard to keep his own emotions in check.

She pulled out the last of the pictures, tossing them on the bed. A few of Blair on a tricycle, being pushed down the sidewalk and sitting in a tiny inflatable pool, splashing at the man with the same face as his friend landed in front of Jim. He looked up when he heard the jingling of a chain.

Naomi pulled out a set of dog tags and Blair reached for them, running his fingers over the engraved name. A colored photo, framed, his father in a dress uniform and finally a tri-folded American flag came out of the box and she gave them to Blair.

"I was so angry with him, I put him all away. I'm sorry Blair. I'm sorry. I couldn't deal with it, so I put him away." She shifted forward with a gasp and Blair dropped everything to help her sit up.

"Shh...it's okay, Mom. Don't worry. It's okay." He hugged her against him, murmuring in her ear. "It's okay, I forgive you..."

Jim picked up the scattered photos and items and put them neatly back in the trunk, slipping quietly out the door.

*~*~*

"It was a lovely wake." Jim was saying, arm firmly around his Guide. The rain was falling steadily and Jim did his best to hold the umbrella over their heads to keep the rain off them.

"Yes. Jenny and Aunt Adele did a great job and Mom would have loved the sheer volume of people in her home." Blair shivered a little, looking down at the newly covered grave.

"You'll have to explain the sitting on crates and covering of mirrors thing to me again, Chief." Blair nodded and Jim smiled. "I understood the non stop food consumption, though.

That comment got a tiny smile. "I thought you would understand that, man."

"Yes, that was a no brainer and it was in English." Jim looked at him seriously. "I've learned all kinds of stuff about you over this last week, talk about revelations. It didn't even occur to me you could speak in Hebrew."

Blair gave one of his most wicked grins. "I can speak several languages and I happen to be a man of many mysteries." Then he seemed to grow serious again. He stepped forward and placed a single white rose on the grave already covered with flowers.

Taking a deep breath he stepped back and turned to the tombstone to the right. It was nicely kept, flowers already standing at the base. His aunt told him that his mom would visit when she could. He turned toward it and reached out to touch the name.

Robert Fleming

Loving Father

1942-1971

"Okay, I'm ready." They walked back toward the waiting Jeep. Blair had to wrap up his mother's sizable estate, decide what to do with the house and the Jeep. Maybe he could drive back to Washington. Take some time to process, as his mom would say.

He and Jim agreed to spend the next few days looking through and packing up the things that Blair wanted to ship home. He knew he would be going to take the pictures...all the pictures.

"Jim?"

"Yeah, buddy?" Jim ushered him into the passenger seat, shutting the door and running around to the other side, dropping the umbrella to the floor.

"Did you really think I grew up in communes? I mean what kind of mother did you think Naomi was, man?" Blair looked amused....but Jim was not going there....

"I told you I didn't." Jim said, pulling onto the winding cemetery road.

"Yeah, Aunt Adele told me last night that after my dad died Naomi would protest on the weekends if Adele could sit with me..." Blair turned around and looked out the back window. "What am I going to do with the house?"

"You have plenty of time to decide." Jim reached over and squeezed Blair's shoulder.

"I think there's an old reel player out in the shed. Mom said there's some old home movies in the trunk and I thought I would..." His voice broke then and Jim pulled the Jeep over.

"Hey, come on." He scooted over and hugged Blair tight. "It's going to be okay. Just let it out."

Blair sobbed against Jim's neck. They stayed that way a long time before Blair finally said, "It's like I lost both my parents at the same time."

Jim rubbed up and down Blair's back in firm strokes. "I'm sorry. I'm here. Just let it out. It's going to be okay."

And as Blair sighed against his best friend's shoulder...he knew that it would be.

*~*~*

The end


End file.
